I love the weekends so much. I wish they were three days long. I need one whole day to do nothing, one day to do chores, and one day to do work. Two days is not enough. Next weekend I'm taking a trip to Baltimore because my mother's going to be there for a work thing. I'm taking the train right after work on Friday and I'm coming back Sunday evening. I'm pretty excited, it'll be my first vacation since school started. I don't know what we're going to do down there, but it'll be nice to see my mom and hang out. I'm going to try and take a nap on the train since I can't stay up past 9:00 on Friday without one. I am also giving a test this week, so I'll try and grade those on the train when I wake up from my nap. So much work to do forever.
Oh my goodness! I almost forgot. My school had the first dance of the year on Friday and I chaperoned. Hilarity! Middle schoolers are amazing at school dances. It was the Halloween dance, so a lot of them were dressed up too. So bizarre. Middle school aged people are so funny and interesting. I love it. Very awkward and there was some whole thing going to down with these two popular kids who went to the dance together, I don't know. I didn't get all the gossip. I was mostly moving around the gym trying to position myself near the kids who were dancing too close so they would get so uncomfortable with me being near them that they would stop. I didn't break much stuff up, only some really sexually explicit moves. Which is disgusting by the way, 12 year olds!
I also realized that the end of the quarter is coming up soon. I can't believe that in an entire quarter I've done one unit. I feel very ineffective. Being a teacher is so overwhelming, I feel like there are a lot of things I would like to do but I just don't have the energy to create them. Like I wanted to do a review bingo that would have questions just like on the test, but I just don't have the energy to do that. I am going to have to have the kids come up with the questions for half the period and then play the game based on those questions. I can't possibly design two different jeopardy games and create two tests and grade projects. I don't have that kind of energy. I also should get going because I absolutely have to do laundry today because I'm going out of town next weekend.
Perhaps I shall post again before I leave, but it is not likely.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
My first cry
Back to school night went well. I didn't know what to say, but the parents didn't ask any crazy questions. Next year will be better I think. I'm going to take more time and really explain the details of my curriculum. It was actually kind of nice to meet some of the parents in an informal setting and just talk to them like people. I don't know when parent conferences are coming up, but I think those will be kind of yucky since you have to tell parents what is up with their kids. Nobody likes to hear their kid is a jerk or something. Hopefully my slackers can get their acts together before parent conferences. We'll see.
Speaking of which, last Friday I had my first cry. On Wednesday, during advisory, five kids got detention. I had them come on Friday because Thursday was curriculum night and I had to prepare for it. So, on Friday, two boys showed up S and R. I wanted them to clean out the desks since I didn't feel like making an assignment for them and the room was pretty disgusting. Middle school kids are very messy and sloppy. Disgusting. Anyhow, these two boys started kind of freaking out. One boy, S, started shoving the desks and the chairs around the room, causing one chair to topple over. I asked him to clean less violently and he started yelling at me. He went back to cleaning, but still shoving desks and chairs around very violently. I told him to stop cleaning and to come and sit down and calm down. He started yelling at me saying I'm pissed off at you!
The whole time the other boy, R, is yelling at me as well and talking on his cell phone to his mom because he had gotten another day of detention for complaining. He puts me on the phone with his mom and she doesn't speak any English so she's asking me to explain what's going on and as I explain to her, her son R is yelling at me, disagreeing with everything I'm saying. So S is still yelling at me and I tell him S, you can't have detention today because you're too angry and you can't calm down. He refuses! He yells, "I'M NOT LEAVING" and I started getting really stressed at this point. R is still yelling at me trying to say S shouldn't have to leave and other things. I kept telling him to leave but nothing. I called the AP and principal's office but they weren't there since it was after school and they do crowd control. So I called another teacher's room who seems to do really well with the kids and she came. He refused to come with her, she was trying really hard to calm him down. Nothing.
So that teacher wrote me a note saying I'm sorry I couldn't help, do you want me to get Ms. Assistant Principal? I said yes thank you and assistant principal came and got S. I still had R to deal with so I worked on Spanish stuff with him and he calmed down a little bit. He hates life and school and many things, so it's not exactly fun to work with him. Assistant principal said that S wanted to talk to me, but I was still working with R so I said we'd have to do it another day. Once R left, I jut broke down. I cried a bit in the corner, until assistant principal came in to check on me and cheered me up.
I wasn't sad because S and R didn't like me, but I was so frustrated that the situation got so out of control and I couldn't figure out how to diffuse it. I want to do really well and when I screw up I get upset. It's kind of hard being at my school because all of the other teachers are totally amazing, and it's easy to feel inadequate. Whenever people would say don't take it personally, I never really knew what they were talking about. I figured they meant don't be upset because kids don't like you or don't respect you, but after this whole ordeal I think it means don't let bad days make you think you are failing as a teacher. Everyone has bad days and nobody knows what to do all the time, but that's ok. You can still be an amazing teacher who doesn't know what to do sometimes.
After the whole ordeal we had a staff party which was awesome because there was free food and booze. I showed up late and tossed back many vodka tonics and I felt so much happier. It's nice to have colleagues who are young and don't think you're inappropriate if you get a little drunk. After the party we actually went out to a bar and then I went to a burlesque show with one of the teachers. It was such a good end to a bad day. Just the thing I needed.
I've got many many things to do now. I would really like to be better about posting, but I've been so busy with work. Hopefully things will calm down soon. Does that happen? Who knows.
Speaking of which, last Friday I had my first cry. On Wednesday, during advisory, five kids got detention. I had them come on Friday because Thursday was curriculum night and I had to prepare for it. So, on Friday, two boys showed up S and R. I wanted them to clean out the desks since I didn't feel like making an assignment for them and the room was pretty disgusting. Middle school kids are very messy and sloppy. Disgusting. Anyhow, these two boys started kind of freaking out. One boy, S, started shoving the desks and the chairs around the room, causing one chair to topple over. I asked him to clean less violently and he started yelling at me. He went back to cleaning, but still shoving desks and chairs around very violently. I told him to stop cleaning and to come and sit down and calm down. He started yelling at me saying I'm pissed off at you!
The whole time the other boy, R, is yelling at me as well and talking on his cell phone to his mom because he had gotten another day of detention for complaining. He puts me on the phone with his mom and she doesn't speak any English so she's asking me to explain what's going on and as I explain to her, her son R is yelling at me, disagreeing with everything I'm saying. So S is still yelling at me and I tell him S, you can't have detention today because you're too angry and you can't calm down. He refuses! He yells, "I'M NOT LEAVING" and I started getting really stressed at this point. R is still yelling at me trying to say S shouldn't have to leave and other things. I kept telling him to leave but nothing. I called the AP and principal's office but they weren't there since it was after school and they do crowd control. So I called another teacher's room who seems to do really well with the kids and she came. He refused to come with her, she was trying really hard to calm him down. Nothing.
So that teacher wrote me a note saying I'm sorry I couldn't help, do you want me to get Ms. Assistant Principal? I said yes thank you and assistant principal came and got S. I still had R to deal with so I worked on Spanish stuff with him and he calmed down a little bit. He hates life and school and many things, so it's not exactly fun to work with him. Assistant principal said that S wanted to talk to me, but I was still working with R so I said we'd have to do it another day. Once R left, I jut broke down. I cried a bit in the corner, until assistant principal came in to check on me and cheered me up.
I wasn't sad because S and R didn't like me, but I was so frustrated that the situation got so out of control and I couldn't figure out how to diffuse it. I want to do really well and when I screw up I get upset. It's kind of hard being at my school because all of the other teachers are totally amazing, and it's easy to feel inadequate. Whenever people would say don't take it personally, I never really knew what they were talking about. I figured they meant don't be upset because kids don't like you or don't respect you, but after this whole ordeal I think it means don't let bad days make you think you are failing as a teacher. Everyone has bad days and nobody knows what to do all the time, but that's ok. You can still be an amazing teacher who doesn't know what to do sometimes.
After the whole ordeal we had a staff party which was awesome because there was free food and booze. I showed up late and tossed back many vodka tonics and I felt so much happier. It's nice to have colleagues who are young and don't think you're inappropriate if you get a little drunk. After the party we actually went out to a bar and then I went to a burlesque show with one of the teachers. It was such a good end to a bad day. Just the thing I needed.
I've got many many things to do now. I would really like to be better about posting, but I've been so busy with work. Hopefully things will calm down soon. Does that happen? Who knows.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Three day weekend
I haven't posted in ages. I had an ok week. All of a sudden I love my eighth graders more than anything. I don't know what happened but this week I just thought they were all hilarious and awesome and wanted them to hang out all day. I actually feel like I may have lost some ground with them because once you start loving them and thinking they're silly, you aren't on them all the time to get their behavior in line and get back to work. I need to get a little more strict this upcoming week.
Speaking of which, three day weekend this weekend which equals short week! Alright! Our at-risk letters are due this week, which means I am going to have to spend a lot of time at school doing that. Any student who might not pass your class has to have a letter sent home saying that so the parent's don't freak out at you about it. Also, we are having back to school night or some sort of equivalent this week so I'll be at school really late one day of the week for that. I am really scared because it's the first time I'll be meeting a lot of parents all at once and they have the opportunity to ask me questions. I have no idea what I'm doing so if they ask me questions about it, there's a very good chance I wont know or I wont have decided yet. For example, a lot of kids ask how many points their final grade is going to be out of. I have no idea how many assignments and tests and projects there will be, so I haven't a clue what the amount of points is going to be. Do other teachers plan these kinds of things out so far in advance? That's not happening.
I am loving my three day weekend. So far today I've eaten and caught up with the tv shows I missed this week. Now I might take a nap. It's glorious to have free time. I have to grade projects, so maybe when I get up from my nap I'll grade the projects I have here at my apartment. Most of them are at school. I think I've finished about half of them so far, but I'd like to get them done by Wednesday so I can see if the projects affect anyone's grade as far as the at-risk letters go. Friday night I went out with a bunch of teachers. I love the other teachers at my school, I don't want to ever leave here. I feel like maybe my principal will encourage me to stay even if she doesn't think I'm awesome because there seems to be a very high turnover rate at my school and I can't imagine that reflects well on us. There were seven new teachers this year out of like 20 teachers total.
In other news, I got some bug bites on my knees which have swelled up to gigantic proportions. I always have bad reactions to bites. I also have a dentist appointment on Monday and I haven't been to the dentist in over a year since I lost my dental coverage when I graduated. I am very good with dental hygiene though, so I think hopefully the dentist appointment wont be too painful. I also need to decide what in the hell to do this week in class. I want to finish up with my eighth grade review unit and test them already. I need to do question formation and some vocabulary and then move the hell on. I think for now I'll get back to napping. Hopefully I'll find more time for posting soon. Probably not.
Speaking of which, three day weekend this weekend which equals short week! Alright! Our at-risk letters are due this week, which means I am going to have to spend a lot of time at school doing that. Any student who might not pass your class has to have a letter sent home saying that so the parent's don't freak out at you about it. Also, we are having back to school night or some sort of equivalent this week so I'll be at school really late one day of the week for that. I am really scared because it's the first time I'll be meeting a lot of parents all at once and they have the opportunity to ask me questions. I have no idea what I'm doing so if they ask me questions about it, there's a very good chance I wont know or I wont have decided yet. For example, a lot of kids ask how many points their final grade is going to be out of. I have no idea how many assignments and tests and projects there will be, so I haven't a clue what the amount of points is going to be. Do other teachers plan these kinds of things out so far in advance? That's not happening.
I am loving my three day weekend. So far today I've eaten and caught up with the tv shows I missed this week. Now I might take a nap. It's glorious to have free time. I have to grade projects, so maybe when I get up from my nap I'll grade the projects I have here at my apartment. Most of them are at school. I think I've finished about half of them so far, but I'd like to get them done by Wednesday so I can see if the projects affect anyone's grade as far as the at-risk letters go. Friday night I went out with a bunch of teachers. I love the other teachers at my school, I don't want to ever leave here. I feel like maybe my principal will encourage me to stay even if she doesn't think I'm awesome because there seems to be a very high turnover rate at my school and I can't imagine that reflects well on us. There were seven new teachers this year out of like 20 teachers total.
In other news, I got some bug bites on my knees which have swelled up to gigantic proportions. I always have bad reactions to bites. I also have a dentist appointment on Monday and I haven't been to the dentist in over a year since I lost my dental coverage when I graduated. I am very good with dental hygiene though, so I think hopefully the dentist appointment wont be too painful. I also need to decide what in the hell to do this week in class. I want to finish up with my eighth grade review unit and test them already. I need to do question formation and some vocabulary and then move the hell on. I think for now I'll get back to napping. Hopefully I'll find more time for posting soon. Probably not.
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